Monday, October 1, 2007

No more bridges

I'm tired of bridges. Not the literal kind, like the one here that is in a perpetual state of getting blown up and rebuilt. No, I'm talking about figurative bridges, like the kind that I promised Rache we wouldn't have to deal with anymore when we got married. The phrase stems from waay back when we first started dating and we were faced with the end of our first summer together, which meant going our separate ways and going to different schools. Instead of worrying about things that loomed to challenge our relationship, we'd always just say "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it". In fact, we crossed so many "bridges" during our relationship that she had that phrase, "No more bridges", inscribed on my wedding ring.

It was two years ago today that I put on that wedding ring. I'm guessing that's why right now I am so frustrated. This is the second straight year we spent our wedding anniversary apart - last year I was at training for work and she had lacrosse practice (have I mentioned before what an incredible athlete she is? I don't think I have). It's the kind of day where we should be going out to celebrate and then watching our wedding video together, reliving the memories of what was undoubtedly the best day of my life. Instead, I am here, wondering why the hell the 104th mismanaged their personnel and called us off the IRR; why, when they told HRC they didn't need us, we were still kept on for this mission.

I shouldn't be so negative. Things could be worse and we're both young and healthy. There's no doubt in my mind that we are both the center of each other's world and for that I should be extremely thankful. I also know that this time next year we'll both laugh at how crappy my luck is and celebrate our best anniversary yet. It's just hard sometimes to be positive and I think I'll let myself be sad today, so that each year after this I can remember how lucky I am.


Jo Castillo said...

Jason, Happy Anniversary and belated birthday! I found your blog through Bag Blog and will be reading and looking forward to hearing from you.

Here's hoping you have many more anniversaries ... together .. and a great life.

Thinking of you,

Leah said...

Wow, that’s about one of the sweetest and most positively loving things I have ever read. I am moved by your difficult situation and your ability to overcome the emotional mind control of the heart. You must be an incredible mature man. Your wife is very lucky. My best to the both of you during the next 60 odd years of marital bliss.

Bag Blog said...

Missing special days like anniversaries and birthdays is always tough, and I am sorry that you are not able to be there with your wife. You both seem very grounded and will be get through this time. What is really important is making lots of "special days" and memories together and you have a whole marriage to do that.

Barbara said...


Like Marissa, you will have good days and bad days during your deployment to that large ugly sandbox - but you will survive them all and soon be home with your lovely wife. Keep safe.